The Luck of the Irish: A Rasher of a Scandal Unfolds on Kildare’s Roads!
Ah, sure ’twas a grand day to be alive in Kildare, or so I thought, until a British Army soldier showed up in a speeding drama that’d make a pint uncontrollably spill out of me Guinness. Thomas Dowling, a 27-year-old unit leader of the 4th Battalion Ranger Regiment, was found driving like a Racing Greyhound on the roads of Morristown Upper, Newbridge, at a whoppin’ 140 km/h – no FX, that’s 87 mph for ye non-metric folks! – and, by the saints, he got caught!
Now, I’m not one to tattle, but someone had to tell the Kildare Court about this hare-brained stunt, and who better to dish the dirt than me? So, grab a pint, sit back, and let me regale you with the tale of the British Army’s Need for Speed.
As the story goes, Dowling, aka the Speed Demon from Aldershot, UK, was allegedly putting pedal to metal, and, well, the judge had to be told. Ah, but what’s the harm in a wee bit of speeding, you ask? Well, let me tell you, me friends, as the Irish would say, “Fad hé, an bpot, God forgives” (or, “Where’s the harm, the pot will not be forgotten” – meaning, discretion seems to be the better part of valour, but not in this case, by the looks of it!).
The venue? Morristown Upper, Newbridge, where the silly beggar decided to put his Range Rover to the test, leaving the locals to wonder, “Santa, sack the NHS (Northern Ireland, Ireland, and Scotland) and take a stroll through Kildare for a dose of reality!” But, I digress!
Now, here’s where it gets serious, me friends (just like the nuns in the nearby convent, “Féach, tabhair!” – “Get on with it!”). The poor lads in the British Army, fighting for our freedom and whatnot, had better keep their priorities straight. After all, homeland security is just as important as maintaining that sanguine sense of national pride we Irish folks are famous for. The whole thing’s a fix, has been and still is, in my humble opinion.
With the spotlight shining on Dowling’s antics, one of three things will happen: He’ll be given a stern warning (like a wee nip on the ear with a ruler); he’ll be forced to muck out the unit’s stables (long story, don’t ask); or (more likely), he’ll face a fate worse than being stuck in a pub listening to an endless rendition of “The Fields of Athenry” – the dreaded “Speeding Fine”!
Time to pour the rest of me pint, me friends, because, as they say, “N’fhillies do’n! ” (there’s never an end in sight). And that’s the story of how one little British Army chap nearly drove me barmy, and I hope you enjoyed it!
References for the proper history:
* Fáilte Ireland – “A
* Kildare Newbridge Guide (what’s left of the
International News October 11
News Sports Region e Ireland
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Aldershot soldier
in court over dangerous driving
Source: KildareNow.com
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