The Meme That Became a Manifesto: How Modern Feminism Is Toxic for Families
As the old Irish saying goes, "a joke’s a joke, but once it’s repeated, it’s a policy." And so, it seems, has become the case with modern feminism. What started as a joke – a meme that read "Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians" – has become a stark reality. The National Organization for Women, the largest feminist organization in the US, has spent decades promoting ideas that undermine marriage, motherhood, and male responsibility. And it’s not just a fringe movement; this toxic brand of feminism has infiltrated institutions, popular media, and even classrooms.
The recent interview of Ayesha Curry on the Call Her Daddy podcast is a prime example of this. The wife of NBA star Steph Curry complained about losing her "identity" and not wanting kids or marriage, despite being in a loving relationship with a faithful and successful husband. This kind of thinking is not just a personal choice; it’s a cultural phenomenon that’s teaching women to prioritize their individuality over family and relationships. And it’s not just women who are suffering; men are also being told that their roles as providers and protectors are no longer needed or wanted.
But what’s the history behind this? How did feminism, which once fought for equality and justice, become so toxic? The answer lies in the radical wing of the movement, shaped by thinkers like Kate Millett and Shulamith Firestone. Millett’s sister, Mallory, recalled early "consciousness-raising" sessions that fixated on tearing down the family. Firestone’s book, The Dialectic of Sex, questioned the family as an institution and dreamed of technological work-arounds for motherhood. Today, "feminism for the 99%" markets itself as explicitly anti-capitalist and treats the home economy as class warfare.
The costs of this toxic brand of feminism are measurable. Single-mother households are more likely to experience poverty, behavioral problems, and trouble with the law. Kids raised without a resident father are at higher risk of educational underachievement, teen pregnancy, and mental health issues. And it’s not just children who suffer; men are also more likely to experience suicide and mental health problems after family breakdown.
So, what’s the solution? Firstly, we need to recognize that the family is the smallest, freest unit in a free society. It’s the original voluntary association, and it predates kings, Congress, and the Supreme Court. We need to stop treating the family as an enemy and start treating it as what it is: the best startup most of us will ever build. A place where resources pool, love multiplies, and freedom gets learned around a dinner table.
Here are some practical steps we can take:
- Shared parenting as the default: Children do better when they have real time with both parents. We should presume equal parenting time unless there’s clear evidence of danger.
- End the state-funded culture war: Stop using public dollars to launder ideology through agencies, grants, and school "equity" programs that pathologize motherhood, fatherhood, and the nuclear family.
- School choice and real civics: Teach kids that strong families precede strong states, not the other way around. Teach them how markets lift households.
- Drop the double standard at work: Equality is not the HR brochure. If we want "equal representation," then we talk honestly about brick-and-mortar jobs too.
- Stop lying about what humans want: Men and women overlap, but they are not identical. Many men still want to protect and provide. Many women still want to nurture and build homes. We should honor that without shaming either sex out of their strengths.
In conclusion, modern feminism’s toxicity towards families is a stark reality that we can no longer ignore. It’s time to break the spell and build families that outlast hashtags. We need to defend capitalism, because free exchange is the best friend a mom-and-dad shop ever had. And we need to recognize that the family is not a prison, but a place of freedom, love, and learning. As the Irish saying goes, "ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine" – it’s in each other’s shadow that people live. Let’s start living in each other’s shadow, rather than trying to tear each other down.
